Quick question for the vegetarians, vegans and the like...

I am in the middle of writing a cookbook and would like to include some tips for parents of children who have declared they will no longer eat food with faces. Whether it's nutrition, the meatless recipe that you cooked 3-4 times a week at first, or the delicate handling a child who seems to be rejecting your lovingly prepared meal, parents need help with this. So, two simple questions:

• If you could some advice to the parents of a newly vegetarian/vegan child, what would it be?
• What is the worst thing you can do if your child decides to eat a meatless diet? (Personal experiences from hell are welcome.)

Thanks for your contributions, everyone.

Comments

[Jenny]

Well, I became a vegetarian when I was 14 and I had a pretty easy time of it.

I'd say the best advice is to just chill out and ride it through, most kids only do it for a while. Having said that I havent eaten meat again so its been 20 years for me!!

We should probably all be eating less meat anyway, so try and make a few meals a week veggie, then maybe the vegetarian can also try their hand at making their own food, which is what I had to do, and I had fun with it. I usually relied heavily on veggie burgers to substitute for everyone elses meat, I now realise its easy enough to make my own.

The worst thing you can do is sneak meat into their food. Thoughts turn to the Royle family on the tv in england, 'its only wafer thin ham'.

[elise]

The best advice is to encourage your child's compassionate, inquiring spirit. Educate yourself and your child about nutrition. And then look at this the way you would if your child decided to eat, say...Thai food. It's the beginning of your love affair with a whole new fabulous cuisine.
Worst thing you can do is refuse to respect your child's choice, "because this is not a restaurant" or the ever popular "because I say so". If your kid is interested in vegetarianism it's your foot in the door to expand your kid's world regarding food, cooking, different cultures, how we treat animals, how we treat the planet, how to make ethical choices in life...you get the idea. Oh yeah, and have fun!

[Vicki]

I've known at least 3 teenage girls that went veggie, but didn't make up for the lost iron/protein that was previously provided by meat, and ended up anemic, depressed, lethargic, unable to concentrate, etc. Kids generally don't think about nutrition, so if your teen goes veggie, make sure you teach them how to eat healthy!

[kitchenmage]

Jenny and Elise, thanks for the comments!

[Jon]

Although there is value in abstaining from meat from health reasons, should the children be the ones telling the parents what they will and will not eat? Who's actually in charge, anyway? It is one thing to dialogue with the child regarding why they do or don't want to eat meat and what kind of a diet is best. It's another thing to transfer authority to a child who neither provides for his/her own meal nor has the wisdom and discernment that their parents should have by this point in their life.

[mbbored]

I announced at age 12 that I was going to be a vegetarian, and have been ever since (I'm now 25.) My mother was surprisingly chill about it. She simply said ok, but just so long as you do the research. I found a book on vegetarian kids, and presented her with protein alternatives. She agreed to buy veggie burgers and baked beans, and I was in charge of heating them up for my dinner. I already made my own lunches, so it was no problem making just a cheese or peanut butter sandwich.

She was also good about respecting that decision: if I slipped up and ate a slice or turkey or some pork bbq (I am Southern after all), she made no comment, and stopped my brothers from teasing me.

Visiting my traditional Southern farmers of grandparents (both sides) was harder. They tried to guilt me: "Chickens and beef cattle have supported this family for over 100 years and will help pay for your college education! Are you too good to support the family?" Grandmothers also tried hiding meat in my food, by adding ham or bacon to vegetables and salads, or trying to convince me that the ground beef in the mac & cheese was just cheese that melted funny.

While my mother told them to be quiet, it definitely put a crimp in our relationship for years. It made me not want to spend time with them or talk with them on the phone if all they wanted to do was make fun of me or nag me about what I ate. I don't know if they eventually grew tired of it, or realized I wasn't about to change, but we have grown closer in the past few years.

[Jennifer Heigl]

Ugh! The worst thing you can do is to not respect your child's decision! Nothing says "I'm not listening" more than not taking your child's dietary decision seriously. Encourage your children to have the best eating habits always, whether veggie, vegan, or carnivore!

With the vegan/veggie choice, make sure to mix up the recipes - it doesn't have to be boring. You can still make a marvelously tasty, nutritious meal, even without meat.

[Kristin]

I agree - respect their decisions. But they need help. There are fabulous recipes today and ready made "chickn" patties, veggie sausages, baked tofu, etc. My children like when I make Vegan Sloppy Joes, mock tuna sandwiches, vegetable casseroles, szechwan noodles, Italian pastas (just to name a few) - things that I can make and then they have for leftovers for a couple of days.
Enjoy the writing of the book!

[elizabeth]

Well, one of my 'things' when I was a Veggie (for ten years) is when a relative of mine said that she meal she prepared was animal free, and then after finishing it admitted that she used beef broth as a base.
Also Veggies should realize that most Caesar salads have anchovies in the ingredients.

I agree though, if a teen decides to be a Vegetarian, they must do some research. Beans and nuts as well as veggies high in iron should be "taken" seriously.

[Julie]

I decided for various reasons to become a vegetarian in high school. My parents were raised on and followed a meat and potatoes diet and believed that not eating meat was bizarre, wrong, and unhealthy. They would sit me down at the table and not let me leave until I had eaten meat. Not surprisingly, I hated that and became a vegetarian as soon as I left for college. I haven't eaten meat in over 13 years.

This reiterates some of the other comments, but parents need to be open minded and be willing to entertain the idea that vegetarianism is a valid lifestyle choice. Have the kids do research on healthy vegetarian diets, talk with them about menu planning and how in include vegetarian dishes in family meals, and involve them in the meal preparation. It is likely that you'll end up with an adventurous eater who has healthy attitudes toward food as well as some cooking skills. What more could a parent want?

[Kaye]

I went vegetarian at 13. My mother was fairly ok about it, but I know that she didn't really approve and so I was in charge of what I was eating to a greater degree than my meat eating sister.

For the most part it was easy enough. The hardest part that she made loud announcements to all who would listen which really made me feel like the odd one out.

I would say that the best thing you can do as a vegetarian parent, is to make as much of the food that you make that doesn't need to contain meat, vegetarian. And to not try to hide meat or meat products in food as this will make your child paranoid about what you are feeding them.

I would agree with one of the other comments. Your child being vegetarian is a fantastic opportunity for everyone in the family to try food from different parts of the world. Your library will have many helpful books that will help with ideas.

Something that I would warn against is replacing meat. Vegetarianism is an opportunity to eat a diet that is kinder to the planet as well being kinder to fellow earth inhabitants. If you can use this change to get your child, if not your whole family, to eat less processed food that would be a fine thing indeed.